My Surreal Life

My Musings, My Thoughts & My Ponderings

The Rules – Rule 1

The first rule is perhaps the hardest, most obvious and the one you can likely forget when you read the rest of the book.  Like a diet, a self-improvement plan or anything you strive to achieve, you can get so lost in what you are attempting to do that you forget that you, the person, is the most important part of the process. So, Rule One is all learning to love who you are and be who you are, and most importantly being comfortable in your own skin.  When you get down to it, when we involve men in our lives we can essentially forget what amazing people we are, we get sucked into moulding ourselves in to what we think is their perfect girlfriend.

Being self-confident, self-assured and still keeping that mystery is a very important in keeping a man interested. What is the point of showing yourself 150%, the good, the bad & the ugly, when men don’t particularly find the ugly appealing.  He doesn’t need to know what is your daily, weekly, monthly, yearly grooming process, he just needs to see that you will always be presentable, that it is important to you.

Confidence is important, being comfortable in your own skin is even more important.  You should try without any hesitate to rid yourself of the negative feelings you have about yourself. Be it food issues, sex issues, intimacy issues, see a therapist if you must.  But I feel from my own personal experience that you won’t find Mr. Right unless you are alright with yourself.

Standout from the crowd without effort, be an excellent speaker, be at one with a room even if you are by yourself.  Be engaging but not a blabber mouth, shoulders back and walk tall. ELEGANCE & MANNERS (need I say anymore)!

It has taken me the last decade of my life to really and truly be at one with myself.  Although the past 10 years have been one of change, 15-25, they are some big big years. It’s a decade filled with firsts and while I’ve obviously done somethings that were part and parcel of my youth, it was a decade filled with happiness.  I’ve read diet books, relationship books, & self-help books. I’ve seen therapists, friends and family.  But what I’ve learned is that eventually it will happen.  One day your mind shifts and the outlook you have is pretty amazing.

Rule 1 is the base, if you screw this up and forget who you are, how can you make the rest of ‘The Rules’ work.  It’s an obvious fact that they wont, because you will not be yourself.  You are the most important part of this whole process.  It has taken me such a long time to get there, to leave the cynical world behind, to realise that I’m a good person, to realise that I deserve love in a really appropriate way.  I seem to be the poster girl for casual sex and one night stands.  Granted I really never engage in either. I’ve only ever slept with one guy that I met in a bar who I’ve never laid eyes on before. And I’ve had a few friends I’ve had regular sex with but fortunately for me it has been pretty not shocking for the last ten years.  But I’ve been single now for 15 months and all men want off me these days is sex, the conversation after a while in a bar immediately turns to sex and how they can get me in to bed.

Its become frustrating but i’ve realised that I deserve better.  I’m an independent, intelligent, smart, beautiful woman and I deserve happiness on my own terms.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with me what so ever, I’m a catch and I truly believe when Mr. Right comes along he will see it in a way that nobody has but in the mean time, self-improvement and learning to love thyself is key.


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This entry was posted on February 11, 2010 by in Reposted Blogs.

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