My Surreal Life

My Musings, My Thoughts & My Ponderings

What The Future Holds

Sometimes I really do wonder about our future. It’s funny because he is an amazing person, he is an amazing partner and a wonderful dad but then I wish so much sometimes that he wasn’t gigging at night. We have the children every second weekend, along with various other times of the week but sometimes during these second weekends he has not only one but a gig both nights the children are here. And it’s exhausting. Early up chores, housework, food, parenting, never mind my own work I’m too tired to catch up on.

I never realised what life with kids and two working parents was like. I knew it wasn’t gonna be a walk in the park but I also do get overwhelmed because one day I was single and dating, the next I was being a parent and looking after kids and making school lunches.

I’ve forgotten that I’m 25 completely. My days are currently filled with painting/decorating/parenting/working 60+ hours a week. I feel more 35, like this is what I expect my life to be like in ten years, and it would develop. I really didn’t expect to wake up one morning and be living it.

But thats not saying I want out, I definitely do not. What I want is to live this life and enjoy it and know that it’s all gonna pay off in the end with the receipt of a Tiffany engagement ring! It has been discussed, it is the plan but I’m just waiting it out.

He is aware I wanna be married within 2 years. I’m not a believer of long girlfriend/boyfriend relationships. You either know it will or won’t work. We will work because we work with out relationship. When you in your twenties and thirties, there is something about knowing what you want that’s important. You should know because you have done the BS relationships for a decade.

Last night Mr Rockstar was gigging in the place where we had our first weekend away… And he told me it brought back all the memories, and we were talking about it and he text me a picture of the lobby, and it was all beautiful. I just wish I had to be able to be there. It was just a really beautiful weekend. So we are thinking of making it a yearly event….. Just to take us back to the simpler times. A weekend where we focus on us. I believe that you need that place.

For all the instant change that has happened, I wonder whether or not I have really processed it or I’m just going through what has to be done. It’s scary, sometimes I do take a moment to readjust but it is always worth it for him. And all he gives me.

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This entry was posted on September 25, 2010 by in Reposted Blogs.
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