My Surreal Life

My Musings, My Thoughts & My Ponderings

Community Spirit

Not so long ago I returned to Twitter, after an active spell in 2008/2009 and a short break, I returned not really having any interest in anything. There are very few celebrities that interest me in what they have to say and being really active on Instagram, I’d have a look every so often but we weren’t in a committed relationship.

I tweeted LeAnne Rimes one day after reading yet another “story” about the issues between her and her stepkids BM. I admired her so much, her handling of every situation with the BM was always so refined, that she is an inspiration to me. She decided to follow me back, on her profile description she had the hashtag #TwitterStepMoms, so I investigated more and found some wonderful individuals and support I never thought was possible.

I had been listening also to ‘The StepMoms ToolBox’ Podcast and was finding my way through a range of emotions that honestly I couldn’t process and I was unable to find any inperson support, or any people who really understood my situation. Its tough to find individuals who aren’t thinking that you are looking to just bitch about BM, and its tough to understand peoples comments who have never been in the situation & listen when they repeatly say ‘but they aren’t your kids’. That comment to me is devestating because it really belittles all that I do. The Podcast really helped me detach from BM and engage in a certain amount of selfcare. Seeing things with the perspective of other stepmoms and learning how to deal with frustrations in a healthy manner has been such a positive experience for me. Listening to the women on the show and reading up on their references led me to StepMom Magazine & in minutes I had subscribed.

Three simple online tools have changed my life, have calmed my frustrations & allowed me to standup for myself as a StepMom to those who simply just don’t undertand. I have connected with over 50 woman, who are all StepMoms. Some are on Twitter personally & others are acting in their professional theraputic capacity. All of these ladies are so helpful, anytime of the day or night, there is always a TwitterStepMom who can just offer support and guidance. Be it for when BM acts out, to when BM is simply frustrating or the hassles that you have with the Skids, you are not alone and there is always someone who can tweet the stress away.

Its so important to realise that the negative feelings we may experience do not mean we regret coming in to our StepFamily, they do not mean that we are terrible people. It is a natural part of not having any time to ease ourself in to this life. Its natural to be wary of standing on peoples toes & its natural to be frutrated because of the many varied parenting styles. But what I’ve found is that there is a support network, there are people who understand what its like.  There are people who can talk you down before you go have that argument with the hubby or worse confront the BM, it helps to have someone who can relate without making you feel inadequate & you can share and help others back.

The sense of community and support, of love and understanding is nothing short of amazing. I want to thank each and everyone of my followers who have helped me in some small way. Who have made me realise that I am not alone, or crazy. Who have helped me realise that it is okay to be involved, to be a parent & to be a support to the children. The issues that arise between adults shouldn’t be taken out on the kids. I have nothing but respect for all of these women. They have given me the best lifeline in 2013, it has calmed my mind. I cannot recommend it enough.


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This entry was posted on March 10, 2013 by in Personal and tagged , , , , , , , , .

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