My Surreal Life

My Musings, My Thoughts & My Ponderings

Falling in to My World



So this really used to be my attitude with BM…..

She wanted nothing to do with me, so to me, I really didn’t want any sort of interaction with her ever.  She isn’t worthy of my time, my thoughts and to be honest, I was happier not having her in my life.  Every interaction with her over the last 3.5 years has been total and utter bullsh*t. My concern with her was solely in the awful way she is treating her children. The lack of manners she is teaching them, the lack of hygiene she is enforcing and the all around way she turns them out looking like “poverty” stricken children when in fact they are not.

However that all changed today. Today, BM actions directly impacted me and directly impacted my newborn child (she is 2 months today). I am not a happy camper, and I’m at a loss as to what really is the next steps.  However, I am so angry, so mad and honestly I want to hail a torrent of abuse at her sorry rear.

I have spent the guts of the last 12 months dealing with my stepchildren’s head lice, in fact over the last 3.5 years I have done ALL the treating for head-lice.  This year, all 3 children got lice and I have been unable to clear their heads because BM will not follow up with secondary treatments and will not clean their sheets. I have on a number of occasions spent MY CASH on the solutions (which are very expensive) and spent hours combing through their heads. All for it to be in vain as BM won’t do anything.  She can not be ignorant to the situation as she cuts all of the childrens hair (badly) and not ONCE put solution in their hair. So it got to the stage where I have been keeping an eye on their hairs but honestly can’t afford to be paying child support to this woman who calls herself a mother and funding treatments like this too.

Today I found a lice in my newborns hair, and everything has now changed for me.  I want to lose the absolute rag at this woman. I am annoyed at myself for not being more proactive with the StepKids even though it would have been only one sided, I’m annoyed with H for not calling her out on it more.  I’m annoyed that he doesn’t seem as angry about the events of today as I am.  I have absolutely no respect for this woman in any way in any capacity as a mother, because she is not one. She is failing to provide the children with fundamental values and provide the appropriate care to her children. What options do I have at this point? The refined (be the bigger person) me is saying to deal with it properly.  The crazy ass bitch mom me is saying rip her head off and totally call her out on it.

H has been somewhat mute to an extend on the issues, he maintains we should just send a solicitors letter to get her to treat them since she is ignored our “harassing” (read ‘caring’) texts before. We have access to the children Sunday at 6pm, for her to pick them up at 9am on Monday morning, followed by access again at 6pm Monday night, I want to text her to tell her we are keeping the children on Monday ALL DAY, so I can get hair cuts and wash sheets and clean beds, what the hell else should I do. I certainly don’t trust her to resolve the issue. H says its a pointless text as again she won’t allow us to keep them. Alternatively I told him then I don’t want them back in the hose till the issue is resolved, suffice to say that didn’t go down well.  I’m sorry at this point, I could care less about her opinions and the fact I’ve bit my tongue for the last 8hrs.

When do my opinions come in to account, when do I get a say?  When does my H look after us? How do I proceed? I certainly don’t want them near my child now which isn’t fair to them because realistically it isn’t their fault, I just don’t know what to do.  I’m soooo very annoyed.

To be honest, I have tried so hard to give BM the benefit of the doubt but at this point I’m done.  I want to wash my hands of her, and I want to wash the childrens hands of her.  She is of no use to anyone, children deserve their mother, but children deserve to have all opportunities provided to them. They deserve to grow up better than their parents did, I can afford them that opportunity. I can parent them to have pride in themselves and teach them proper decorum.

This situation has now affect my child and my life. THEREFORE I DESERVE TO HAVE CONTROL.  This now sums up the emotion I have for this person. I can no longer stand up and say that this person is a mother, because I really don’t feel she is!



One comment on “Falling in to My World

  1. Krissy
    July 30, 2013

    Send a letter to CPS saying that you are a neighbor of hers and have seen the kids with lice over and over again. This is a form of child abuse, even of their dad to not step in and take control of the situation. If she doesn’t care about the children having bugs all over their heads, what else does she not care about?? If I was you, I would put my foot down with H and tell him to stand up to her. Believe me, I know how helpless you feel, it used to be like this with my husband and I and our daughter’s BM. I would tell him repeatedly that she was a mess, we should be worried and that she can’t care for her like we can. They (dads) want to believe that the BM really does care enough, that she wouldn’t let the kids be in harms way, but the BM just doesn’t and us as the ‘outsider’ can see that. Our situation got so bad, we finally had to serve her with papers saying we were taking custody and she ended up going away to rehab for 6 months. She’s still kind of a mess, but she says that what we did was a wake up call for her and although our daughter isn’t taken care of as well at her house as at ours, she has gotten better and knows that we are watching.

    It is about the children, not about how the BM will “feel” when H tells her she is neglecting their children. You owe it to those kids to stand up for them, obviously no one else is.

    Good luck and I’m sorry you are dealing with this.

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This entry was posted on July 18, 2013 by in Personal and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , .

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